Mandelson Cybersecurity Report
Jan. 18th, 2013 03:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dasouzzle*Since she's not needed in the House today and London is snowbound, Frances has decided to stay home and spend the afternoon reading Peter Mandelson's report on Parliamentary cybersecurity.*
*It seems their cybersecurity isn't very good.*
*Although the Parliamentary IT programme is not within Frances' remit, she has neither the capacity nor the responsibility to assess its strengths and limitations, and she cannot in any way be faulted for its failures, nevertheless by the time she finishes reading the report she is feeling personally offended by Peter's sneering tone. Perhaps their computer system was riddled with vulnerabilities, but they didn't have any problems with it until he decided to hack into it in an act of petty revenge. That she still hasn't managed to catch him at it is irritating; that he should turn around and mock her for it is intolerable. The ultimate act of chutzpah, a thief who makes off with the silver and then criticises you for leaving the window unlocked.*
*There's only one bright side to this wretched fiasco. Once they implement his recommendations he'll have to stop hacking into their monitors, or it will prove his precious supercomputer wasn't up to the job of shoring up their security system. Of course, there's no telling what vulnerabilities he's deliberately built into the recommendations, but since it's clear he can get into the current system and wreak merry havoc on a whim, it can't be any worse than what they've got now.*
*It seems their cybersecurity isn't very good.*
*Although the Parliamentary IT programme is not within Frances' remit, she has neither the capacity nor the responsibility to assess its strengths and limitations, and she cannot in any way be faulted for its failures, nevertheless by the time she finishes reading the report she is feeling personally offended by Peter's sneering tone. Perhaps their computer system was riddled with vulnerabilities, but they didn't have any problems with it until he decided to hack into it in an act of petty revenge. That she still hasn't managed to catch him at it is irritating; that he should turn around and mock her for it is intolerable. The ultimate act of chutzpah, a thief who makes off with the silver and then criticises you for leaving the window unlocked.*
*There's only one bright side to this wretched fiasco. Once they implement his recommendations he'll have to stop hacking into their monitors, or it will prove his precious supercomputer wasn't up to the job of shoring up their security system. Of course, there's no telling what vulnerabilities he's deliberately built into the recommendations, but since it's clear he can get into the current system and wreak merry havoc on a whim, it can't be any worse than what they've got now.*
no subject
Date: 2013-01-19 01:17 am (UTC)D'Souza,
disappointed to see that you weren't on the Estate today. Do let me know if there are any elements of the report that require further clarification.
Regards,
-Mandelson
no subject
Date: 2013-01-20 08:52 pm (UTC)From: lord_speaker@parliament.uk
To: mandelsonp@parliament.uk
Lord Mandelson,
Don't worry, your views on Parliament's cybersecurity were clearly and emphatically expressed. Thank you for your contribution.
Frances D'Souza, Lord Speaker
no subject
Date: 2013-01-20 09:13 pm (UTC)From: mandelsonp@parliament.uk
To: lord_speaker@parliament.uk
D'Souza,
you are most welcome. Tell me, are you absent due to the inclement weather, or has our annual epidemic claimed yet another victim?
-Lord Mandelson
************************
Sent from my Blackberry
no subject
Date: 2013-01-20 09:23 pm (UTC)To: mandelsonp@parliament.uk
Lord Mandelson,
Snowbound, I'm relieved to say. But I infer from your message that you have braved the weather to make it in to Westminster? Well done!
Frances D'Souza, Lord Speaker
no subject
Date: 2013-01-20 09:25 pm (UTC)To: lord_speaker@parliament.uk
D'Souza,
Snowbound? Has your fireplace iced over?
-Lord Mandelson
************************
Sent from my Blackberry
no subject
Date: 2013-01-20 09:30 pm (UTC)To: mandelsonp@parliament.uk
Lord Mandelson,
No, but I've run out of wood. I suppose I could teleport in if I had to, but I'm not needed today and I've been rather enjoying myself here.
Frances D'Souza, Lord Speaker
no subject
Date: 2013-01-20 09:39 pm (UTC)To: lord_speaker@parliament.uk
D'Souza,
Absenteeism by the Speaker. I am appalled.
-Lord Mandelson
************************
Sent from my Blackberry
no subject
Date: 2013-01-20 09:42 pm (UTC)To: mandelsonp@parliament.uk
Lord Mandelson,
I'm sure.
But you know, my term expires in four years. You could always stand for the position yourself.
Frances D'Souza, Lord Speaker
no subject
Date: 2013-01-20 10:00 pm (UTC)To: lord_speaker@parliament.uk
D'Souza,
I believe my talents lie elsewhere. I am sure someone else will be able to fulfil the taxing requirements of sitting through multiple sessions without suffering situational narcolepsy.
-Lord Mandelson
************************
Sent from my Blackberry
no subject
Date: 2013-01-20 10:14 pm (UTC)To: mandelsonp@parliament.uk
Lord Mandelson,
Like most things in life, the House of Lords becomes far more interesting if you pay closer attention to it.
Frances D'Souza, Lord Speaker
no subject
Date: 2013-01-20 10:20 pm (UTC)To: lord_speaker@parliament.uk
D'Souza,
some unkind souls might suggest that your characterisation of the upper chamber as being in any way of interest was overly charitable to the point of being detached from reality.
-Lord Mandelson
************************
Sent from my Blackberry
no subject
Date: 2013-01-20 10:23 pm (UTC)To: mandelsonp@parliament.uk
Lord Mandelson,
Unkind souls indeed, to say such rude things about your speeches.
Frances D'Souza, Lord Speaker
no subject
Date: 2013-01-20 10:37 pm (UTC)To: lord_speaker@parliament.uk
D'Souza,
on the contrary, my Hollywood debut has been very well received.
-Lord Mandelson
************************
Sent from my Blackberry
no subject
Date: 2013-01-20 10:49 pm (UTC)To: mandelsonp@parliament.uk
Lord Mandelson,
You are not the 16th President of the United States, Peter. This is why we sometimes worry about your delusions of grandeur.
Frances D'Souza, Lord Speaker